Jesus is the reason...Santa gets the credit...Mom does all the work!

Seeing Christmas through the eyes of my children is more amazing to me than experiencing Christmas as a child myself.  I love their anticipation of Christmas morning.  I love that they re-count how many days are left until Christmas each day they open a box on the advent calendar.  I love that the first thing they want to do in the morning is see where the Elf has moved.  I love that they add magic glitter to the reindeer food.  And most importantly, I love that my 7, 5, and 3 year old know that the ONLY reason there is a Christmas is because of the birth of our Lord Jesus and the only reason we get presents from Santa is because Jesus is in heaven and doesn't get his own birthday presents so we get to reap that reward.

All that amazingness aside, am I the only MOM that...

• HATES having to remember to move the Elf, having to come up with a reason why the Elf didn't move when I forget (which seems to be more times than I remember), and having to come up with new places for him to be so my kids don't say, "he was just there 2 days ago"?
• Has found out that half of the items I've been stock piling are now no longer wanted by my children and they want totally different things now?  If I hear my 3 year old say, "I want that" to every commercial she sees I just might hit the bottle!
• Has removed wrapped presents from under the tree and told my kid that I would return them all to the store unless he started behaving?
• Who's eyes glaze over during school "Holiday" parties?
• Has a teacher that didn't deserve the optional, yet mandatory, Christmas present? 
• Spent too much time stressing over Christmas cards and advent letters only to send them to people who didn't send one to you and run out before you could send them to the people that actually did give you a card?  By the way, I am voting on the WORST Christmas Card I've received.  Can we say, Awkward Family Christmas Card?
• Just doesn't understand why people bring hideous Dirty Santa gifts?  Do people think that because it's an anonymous gift exchange it gives you a pass to regift the awful presents you got last year?  Don't judge me when I steal my own gift back because I actually brought something I would like to receive, not to unload.
• Is an idiot for not creating the website for "Ugly Christmas Sweaters" that apparently is paying for this woman's kids' college educations due to all the "Ugly Christmas Sweater" Christmas parties. Dang girl!

And don't get me started on the hour I stood in line for Santa (which was relatively short since I checked my kids out of school early to avoid longer lines) only to over pay for a picture that all my kids weren't smiling for anyway; and for the hour and a half I spent in line for a light festival in our town that is EXACTLY the same every year.  Really?!  Thank goodness all my out of town family has now seen them and we are officially done with that waste of time.

Chime in if you have some more things you are wondering if you are the only mom experiencing this holiday season....

Until next time, Merry Christmas and enjoy putting together all the items that Santa will get credit for!

Pass the BATON please!

No one ever told me I'd have to repeat school through my kids.  I thought that graduation from college meant I would never have to do trig or statistics again.  Little did I know that not only would I have to repeat ALL my academics but that I would earn a masters degree, yet forget how to do basic math without the assistance of a calculator or have to re-learn how to spell without my "spell check" button a fingertip away.

Combined with the fact that all 3 of my kids are in school now (the youngest just started preschool) and Josh starting a new job that has him out of town Monday-Thursday of each week AND me having to travel out of town for 2 weekends in a row for my work,  I feel like we have been playing pass the baton back and forth to each other.  And when you're running full steam ahead, sometimes it's hard to focus on the switch without dropping the baton.

In the past week and a half I have:

• lost someone's football fundraising check, 
• forgot to send in money and a signed permission slip for a field-trip, 
• had to gracefully bow out of being a grade parent (this is a sidebar but NO ONE EVER TOLD ME that being a room mom is WAY different than it used to be....holy responsibility, batman!),

• created from scratch, a Humpty Dumpty costume because my middle child did not want to go as the easy costume of "little boy blue" - only to tell his dad the morning of the nursery rhyme parade, after I made the costume and was out of town for work, that he actually didn't want to wear his costume.  "Like _ell you aren't wearing that", was the internal dialogue my husband had with Jonathan at the prospect that he would have to create a new nursery rhyme costume on the fly with me out of the town.

• put together an elaborate "all about me" poster for my 3 year old's first week of school
• coordinated dress code each day for the colors they were studying in class
• sent in separate checks for:  computer earphones, class fees, field-trips, the random I.O.U's from the cafeteria because my middle child "forgot" he had a lunchbox full of food once and since he had also managed to forget his lunch bag at school the day before, picked up the empty lunch bag and took it to the cafeteria, leaving his full lunch in the class....WHAT?!!
• made (with only a paper pattern) a stuffed teddy bear.  No really; the instructions indicated to enjoy this "quality" time with our first grader as we made, NOT bought, a teddy bear to share with the class and to use our imagination.  "Quality" time was the last thing I was thinking would ensue when I thought about including my 7 yr old in the use of sewing needles, a hot glue gun, and stuffing. 
• and don't forget the notes saying to send in...items for treasure box, hand sanitation liquid, applesauce, cookies, paper towels, and something else random I know I'm supposed to be sending in next week that I've already forgotten what it is.

Once kids are in school it's really hard to keep your head on straight.  I feel like "who's on first, what's on second".  Throw in multiple kids and extracurriculars (like pop warner football that has my 5 and 7 yr. old practicing 3 times a week from 6-8pm and games on Saturday) and I had to LOL when my husband innocently assumed that I would be going back to work when our kids were all in school.

Yes dear, I will be going back to work as soon as I find a superwoman cape that comes equipped with job specific superpowers.  Does any working mom know where I can find one of those?

TOP 10 things you learn from a BOY sleepover

As the newest initiate into the world of Birthday Party Sleepovers, 

Here's my BOY'S SLEEPOVER TOP 10 LIST...

1.  It only takes 15 seconds to utilize the word "poop" in conversation at the dinner table.

2.  Eyeliner is impossible to remove when applied as facial hair for pirate beards. Sorry to all the moms who received their 7 yr. old home with what appeared to be a 5 o'clock shadow...my bad.

3.  Just when you think they are winding down you'll hear a shout for "game time" at 10:30pm.

4.  Boys do not distinguish between inside and outside voices.  It's all LOUD!

5.  I take that back...their inside voice is an outside voice and their outside voice is loud enough to wake the neighbors, oops.

6.  Late to bed does NOT equal late to rise.

7.  Little boys lack the "I don't want to point out your flaws" filter.  As I'm starting a movie for them at 7 am (yes, that time is correct) one child says, "You look different".  When I explain that it's because I'm not wearing makeup another boy says, "Is that why you look like that?".

8.  Saying "You can only eat 5 pieces of candy" translates to "You can eat every piece except for the last one so you can tell me you didn't eat the WHOLE bag".

9.  A "milk burp" is something entirely different for a 7 yr. old than it is for a baby...GROSS!

10.  Before you know it, they will be too old for sleepovers and you'll be wishing for these lists again.

Kidisms'

One of my favorite parts of motherhood is hearing the crazy things that come out of my kids' mouths.  Just the other day Julia was watching me get dressed and she said, "Mommy, are you putting your boobs on?" to which I reply, "No sweetie, that's my bra". HA!

Don't worry, this isn't all I have to say about this.  I am receiving new material to add to this subject almost daily.  I'd love to hear some of yours though.  Bring on the comments!

Of all the things I've been called...

REAL is my favorite.  I have no idea why I become more honest the older I get.  I was either, really fake when I was younger or I just don't have time for the fake-ness now that I have 3 kids aged 6 and under.  Whatever the reason, I have felt liberated in knowing I can say no to the "drama" and blame it on the "I am so busy with the kids that I can't deal with that right now".


So here we are, I'm here to open up the forum for all the NO ONE EVER TOLD ME's...that would happen, to expect that, that I'd have to deal with that, etc. etc. etc.  It doesn't have to be just motherhood.  It can be marriage (airing on the side of non-malebashing comments, please), teenagers...need I say more, it doesn't matter....here I am and here you are to share our stories.  It really does take a village ladies.  I think about all my invaluable girlfriends that have gotten me through so much that my husband wouldn't have a clue how to handle and I say, THANK YOU...you have saved my sanity, you've made me a better mom, a better wife and you've helped me feel validated!  What an awesome gift!!!!  Thank you LORD for the friends in my life.  I hope I've been as good of a friend to you as you have been to me.


And I hope now that we can travel this journey together.  To turn to each other when we are embarrassed to tell anyone else that such and such is going on.  That we can rely on each other in a way that only the anonymous can provide...a way to confide without feeling exposed, a way to relate without feeling judged, a way to build each other at the times we need it the most, and a way to laugh at ourselves when we are taking ourself too seriously...afterall, we aren't perfect wives or mothers or sisters or daughters or employees or employers, but we can help each other become closer to the image that GOD made us in and continue to grow.


That is my goal for us all, to become better women.  Lord knows, I need all the help I can get.  The question is, do you feel the same and are you in it with me?